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Drop the Attitude, Drop the Weight

Hi! I’m Liz. The bare facts are that I’m 31 years old and 5’3 tall, and I weigh about 200 pounds (exact weight to be determined at weigh-in this weekend). I haven’t always been fat, but I have already spent several years at my current size. Informal survey says: there’s a lot to be said for being at a lower weight!

I’m in a serious relationship, and my boyfriend has never put pressure on me to lose weight in order to appeal more to him. Other random tidbits . . . I’m a college graduate who lives and works in a university town and hopes to be pursuing a master’s degree at some point in the next couple of years.

After doing some quick calculations, it’s clear that I need to drop about 70 pounds, give or take. What’s less clear is that I also have to drop the attitude toward my weight and weight loss attempts I have adopted in the past.

It’s a complex negative attitude comprised of:

Self-pity. “Why can’t I eat like ‘normal’ people and, you know, just be thin naturally? Life is so effing unfair to me!! I have it so, so tough. So tough.”

Suspicion. “Everyone thinks I look ridiculous. Why should I put myself out there, meet new people, trying new things? Why should it work this time?”

Superiority. “Those weight-loss groups are so hokey. Blond cheerleader types with Colgate smiles standing at the front of some depressing room and attempting to perk up a bunch of sad sacks who mumble about snack cakes and lifestyles. I am far, faaaaar above such inanity. I am Phi Beta Kappa.”

Savage self-criticism. “You can’t do anything, and you definitely won’t lose 70 pounds and keep them off. Because you never have. There is no legal precedent. You are a big F A I L.” (This is the cruelest inner voice of all, and it has driven me to tears numerous times.)

As you can see, it’s an insecure, ugly, self-fulfilling attitude that is not only vicious toward myself but unfairly judgmental of others! Dropping this attitude will go a long way in helping me to drop the weight, I have.

Are you holding onto any attitudes that have been holding you back? I’m interested to hear about this.


6 Responses

  1. Very valuable info & tips. Anyone suffering from a weight prob needs to read that. Thanks

  2. You’ve captured so many important points here about the effects of attitude on success. I identify most with #1. I have friends who can eat what they please, when they please and not show it anywhere.

    Looking forward to getting to know you through your blog!

  3. Thanks for stopping by, Cammy!

  4. Great post! I know how you feel… The lowest I’ve been able to get since graduating high school was around 185… (been up to 231 too) and I feel like I’ll never be able to lose enough weight to look “normal.” Savage self-criticism, like you said. Because I’ve been so hard on myself about trying to get down to “goal weight” before (135, a weight I don’t even ever remember being… maybe when I was eight or nine…) I have decided to say screw numbers, and just focus on a healthier lifestyle that includes eating less junk and going to the gym. I still weigh myself to be accountable and make sure I’m going down, but I’m not worrying about the big picture right now. (But hey, ten pounds down from this time last month!) I figure that by doing this, even if I never make it to my “goal” weight, at least I’ll be much healthier than I have been. :) That is what is important to me right now.

  5. Hello, soul sister. I’m all number 1. and 4. and probably a healthy (or not) dose of number 3.

  6. Hey 30, Thanks for stopping by! And best of luck with your own goals :).

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