Hi! I’m Liz. The bare facts are that I’m 31 years old and 5’3 tall, and I weigh about 200 pounds (exact weight to be determined at weigh-in this weekend). I haven’t always been fat, but I have already spent several years at my current size. Informal survey says: there’s a lot to be said for being at a lower weight!
I’m in a serious relationship, and my boyfriend has never put pressure on me to lose weight in order to appeal more to him. Other random tidbits . . . I’m a college graduate who lives and works in a university town and hopes to be pursuing a master’s degree at some point in the next couple of years.
After doing some quick calculations, it’s clear that I need to drop about 70 pounds, give or take. What’s less clear is that I also have to drop the attitude toward my weight and weight loss attempts I have adopted in the past.
It’s a complex negative attitude comprised of:
Self-pity. “Why can’t I eat like ‘normal’ people and, you know, just be thin naturally? Life is so effing unfair to me!! I have it so, so tough. So tough.”
Suspicion. “Everyone thinks I look ridiculous. Why should I put myself out there, meet new people, trying new things? Why should it work this time?”
Superiority. “Those weight-loss groups are so hokey. Blond cheerleader types with Colgate smiles standing at the front of some depressing room and attempting to perk up a bunch of sad sacks who mumble about snack cakes and lifestyles. I am far, faaaaar above such inanity. I am Phi Beta Kappa.”
Savage self-criticism. “You can’t do anything, and you definitely won’t lose 70 pounds and keep them off. Because you never have. There is no legal precedent. You are a big F A I L.” (This is the cruelest inner voice of all, and it has driven me to tears numerous times.)
As you can see, it’s an insecure, ugly, self-fulfilling attitude that is not only vicious toward myself but unfairly judgmental of others! Dropping this attitude will go a long way in helping me to drop the weight, I have.
Are you holding onto any attitudes that have been holding you back? I’m interested to hear about this.