Weekend Turtle Steps

smallturtleThis weekend, I’ll be making a couple more steps in the direction of better health and fitness:

1. Checking out a nearby gym with John. It’s very new, very inexpensive/no fills, and may be just right for us.

2. Getting a workout by moving some more boxes out of my storage unit and into our garage.

3. Sticking to my food plan and weighing in on Sunday at my regular WW meetings. FYI, all of my weight changes will be updated weekly on my Weight-Loss Progress page, accessible by clicking on the tab at the top of this page. I’ll be adding photos as the weeks go by.

4. Buying a simple healthy cookbook. Any suggestions? Think VERY simple, people. You cannot underestimate me enough in this particular area. At the same time, I want to be cooking with whole, mostly unprocessed foods as much as possible.

What are you up to this weekend? What turtle steps are you taking toward your goals?

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When the Moon Hits Your Eye

Riding the bus home from work in the already-dark yesterday evening, I felt extremely dejected. I feel much better now, but at the moment I was in the emotion, I felt like crap. I was staring out the bus window thinking morbid thoughts when a glimpse of the moon appeared between buildings and treetops.

It was huge, and round, and bright.

It reminded me of pizza.

I was very hungry, and not in a good frame of mind. I decided that when I got home, I would order a medium cheese pizza, eat it all myself, and then hate myself a lot. I had a plan. I take comfort in plans, even when they are counterproductive and willfully self-destructive.

I got home and went to the pizza place’s website—no human interaction required!—and paused slightly. What would John eat when he got home, if I only ordered pizza for myself? I didn’t want to share my medium cheese pizza with him. I want to do this thing proper and I was NOT GOING TO SHARE. But then I considered our finances and realized it was stupid to get us each a separate pizza, so I compromised and ordered a large pizza, half plain and half with his favorite toppings on it. It was still not the healthiest choice I could have made last night, but it was an improvement. I even calculated that I could eat all four of my slices and still be within my weekly bonus Points allowance.

Quoi? But if that happened, would I still have license to wallow in self-loathing afterward? Oh, probably not. Dammit. But it was too late. I had already made the less-dysfunctional choice.

Which worked out well, because soon after the pizza arrived, I had a great phone call and felt lots better about myself and life in general. I didn’t want to spend the evening hating on myself. I ate three slices of pizza, marked it in my food journal, and was at peace with the choice I had made. How strange for me.

We Cairn a Lot

Ask and ye shall receive, my peeps! In a comment to my query about personal anchors yesterday, Goodwithcheese linked to the jewelry of Tarma, and now I’m infatuated with the symbolism of cairns and must have either a wristband or a pendant to help keep me balanced during the holiday season.

Cairns are piles of stones. But wait, there’s more! Although they sometimes mark burial spots, they also can act as trail guides to wanderers in the mountains. As each person passes along the trail, they add another stone—keeping up with cairn maintenance, so to speak. In addition to reminding us of the path we’re on, the imagery of the cairn conjures up the ideal of balance, stones stacked carefully one atop the other. Balance, following your path, building upon the lessons of others: a cairn represents all of these goals.

I identify strongly with fellow dieters, but I am also very much drawn to those who seem to have achieved or are consistently making a point of maintaining some kind of balance in their personal wellness. Sometimes I experience the petty emotion of jealousy, especially when the person is younger than me and already seems to have things “figured out.” At other times I am filled with an indescribable contentment and hope reading their words. I am sustained by vicariously cooking wholesome, varied meals in their kitchens and by reading about what it’s like to grow and change in healthy ways. I dream of traveling back in time and doing certain things differently, giving the younger me certain priorities that just weren’t there at the time. I feel like I have always been scrapping for emotional (and sometimes physical) survival and never dared hope for what I can only describe as something better. Something more for myself.

Balance is a beautiful, precarious thing that is well worth experimenting with, one stacked stone at a time.

Cairn pendant by Tarma

Cairn pendant by Tarma

Now, because you’ve read all of these very deep thoughts, you can have some Faith No More:

Weigh-in: Anchors Away

ist2_4762716-anchor-iconMy weigh-in last night showed a 3.6-lb loss for the past week, putting me just under the 200-lb mark again! So I guess I’m doing something right.

The meeting was meh. My regular meeting schedule will be the Sunday afternoon meeting, and I’m glad. The leader last night kept asking questions and then staring expectantly at the group, and during the awkward pauses I could hear “Bueller? Bueller?” echoing in my head. And then inevitably the same two women would bray their opinions. A couple of times a few other hesitant souls would venture a guess to the leader’s Socratic-style questions and I swear to God that on at least one of these occasions, they were made to feel as if their answer were somehow wrong. Oh, please! This is a Weight Watchers meeting, not law school!

The topic of the meeting: Anchors for the holiday season. Touchstones to keep you grounded and focused despite the madness swirling all around in the form of consumerism, family which you may or may not be pleased to see, and baked goods. One of the women who was basically shot down mentioned that the anchor could be something like a piece of clothing you want to fit into, but when the leader gave her a vaguely disapproving hawklike stare, she mumbled, “Maybe it’s a little materialistic.”

Well, we can’t all be Joan of Arc after all, and I’m totally planning to go the materialistic anchor route! I’m currently in the market for a little bracelet or something to wear every day that I can touch or look down at to re-center myself and recommit to my plan. How about you? Do you have an anchor that reminds you of your goals and helps to keep you resolved even when things get mental in your life?

My First Week on Weight Watchers

I’ll be heading to my first weigh-in straight from work this evening, and right now I can honestly say I’m strangely relaxed about it. In previous Weight Watching incarnations, I was fraught with tension pre-weigh-in because I felt that if I hadn’t lost a certain amount of weight that week, it meant the whole effort was pointless.

I have followed the Points system quite well this first week; my main problem was not always getting in the 5 daily fruits and vegetables that are part of the WW healthy guidelines. This week I will do a little better in that area. I haven’t really created a regular exercise schedule yet, and that’s also on tap for this week. Exercise tends to make a lot of difference in my weight-loss progress. I don’t want to overdo it, but I would like to get out there and walk 5 days a week. Who’s with me?

Ever since I decided it was okay if the weight came off slowly, I’ve been feeling a lot better about life in general and getting in shape in particular. Once I decided to focus on two goals for the coming year (improving my mental health and getting out of the obese category), I felt quite a bit of tension subside. If you are stressing out right now about life and can postpone a few of your goals in order to focus on the one or two most important ones and devote a full year to these, I highly recommend it.

Did anyone else watch Ruby last night? What did you think? I will definitely be tuning in for the next episode. My boyfriend and I watched it together and both agreed that a lot of interesting and important points came up in the show. And as one person on the Ruby message boards commented, “it’s a REAL reality show,” if you know what I mean. No host, no zany challenges, just a very large woman facing her beast.

Hair and There

As demonstrated in Wednesday’s post, it had become painfully obvious that I needed a haircut. This morning, as one of my small steps toward fitness I decided to walk down to Birds Barbershop, which is only a little over a mile away. Still, I never would have thought of walking there even a week ago—despite the beautiful weather. It just wouldn’t have entered my mind. Non-scale victory, turtle progress!

All Tidied Up!

All Tidied Up!

I’ll be watching Ruby tonight on the Style Network. It’s about dramatic weight-loss, to be sure—a 500-pound woman is the eponymous star of the show—but somehow it sounds as though it will be less of a circus than Biggest Loser. Ruby sounds like the sort of person most of us would love to hang with and the show’s site is awesome with lots of goodies to discover. I’m hoping to compare notes on this one with some of you guys tomorrow!

On Weight Watchers? Join the WWtweeters!

This is just a quick post to invite any and all interested Weight Watchers to join the awesome Twitter group WWtweets created by Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat!

For people having trouble inserting the WWtweets badge into their blog, I messed with the code a bit and got it to work on mine: Click HERE, copy the code that appears at the top of the page, and then paste it into the appropriate place on your blog.

Just FYI, on Twitter I’m Lizdrops; feel free to follow me and I’ll return the favor :).